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Busta and the Gangsta Elves Steal Christmas

By admin | November 29, 2013

Will these capricious beings be successful in their attempt?

For Christmas Busta and the others elves organize and go totally gangsta. Like the Wall Street Banksters and the major retailers, Busta and company are lookin’ for their cut of the holiday action.

“Busta and the gangster elves decided they want a cut of Christmas. Never mind Santa says, Christmas has always been free,” and that he gives the presents away; the Gangsta Elves decide it is time to end this tradition.

“Busta says they have been working too long for free. They want a cut of all the action. Every time Santa is mentioned or the North Pole or Christmas or Rudolph or the reindeer they want a kickback or percentage. Every time a store sells a toy or mentions Christmas they want a percentage for themselves.

They are tired of living at the North Pole it is too cold. They want to live in Miami and live the good life. They’ll come back north to make presents at Christmas so long as they get a cut but other than that they will live where it is warm. In fact when they think about it why not live all year where it is warm and make the presents there. Better yet, if they were getting paid for it, they could afford to hire workers in Mexico or South America or something like so they wouldn’t have to make the presents themselves and they would have enough money left over to get rich and live the good life till Christmas.

But Santa will have none of it. The elves say fine; they can always find another fat guy in a suit, and who needs reindeer when you’ve got helicopters and jets. Santa needs them to build the toys, but they don’t need Santa.

What they need and what they want is a commission on every Christmas transaction. In fact they are going to patent and trademark Christmas and Santa so that no one else can use them. Santa says they can’t patent the tradition it has been around too long. The elves counter clicking has been around for a long time and Amazon still managed to patent that. As a matter of fact human beings have been around for a long time yet they are still patenting DNA, so they have been talking to a lawyer and are quite sure they can find a way to patent Christmas and Santa and reindeer and snowmen so that they can get paid and if people don’t like it then they can call it Xmas and Xanta and rain creatures and Icicles they really don’t care but if they are not going to pay then Christmas will be gone. And Santa you will be out of a job because how are you going to deliver toys if we don’t make them for you? You can’t afford to buy them or pay for them and who else can you find to do your slave labor? Mexicans are trying to get into the U.S. to get a good job but no one’s trying to get to the North Pole even if you would pay them and we all know you would not.”

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